Welcome to the second edition of SINGLE PARENT TRAVEL e-zines - a continuing series of monthly newsletters created for the community of single parents who like to travel with their kids. These newsletters are designed to make your trips more fun, expand your horizons, and add more value to your Single Parent vacation dollar.

In the first newsletter I addressed the fact that the needs of single parents traveling with their kids, long neglected by the travel industry, are quite different from those of double parent families. Single Parents need to be twice as organized, twice as patient, and twice as creative. I tackled the topic of ORGANIZATION in the first newsletter. In this edition I will discuss PATIENCE.

I have found that the best way to remain patient with your kids while traveling is to eliminate in advance as many situations as possible that require patience on your part. Sound simplistic? It is. Here's how:

There are three common irritating travel complaints that can drive parents nuts:
1) When do we get there?
2) Can I have some money?
3) I'm tired/bored/hungry

The first and third items are usually asked in a whiney tone and the second, as sweetly as possible, especially if it is the sixth request that day. The suggestions I offer are not foolproof but should reduce the frequency and intensity of the complaints so that your patience does not wear thin.

1) WHEN DO WE GET THERE?
For a small child, who has no sense of time, planning a relatively stress-free long motor trip takes a little advance work. There are the usual car games - such as word games, spotting car colors or license plates, story telling, and the "I'm thinking of (a person, place or thing)" game. But small children also need some time guidance. Several days before the trip, and again the night before, explain how long the trip is and what you will be doing along the way. For example if it is a six hour drive, explain that there will be three planned stops, and the lunch stop is the halfway stop. If your children are ten years old or older they can begin learning to read maps and map out the trip. (More about that valuable skill in a later newsletter).

Years ago a friend of mine had to travel by car several times a year from NJ to Maine to visit family, a tedious eight hour drive with her three small rambunctious boys. She loaded the car with games and nutritious snacks but found that after six hours nothing worked. On the next trip she added one item to the trunk - a closed box filled with sodas and junk food. After six hours, when the "Point of No Patience" was reached, she pulled over the car at the New Hampshire border, and unleashed the booty along with a supply of airsick bags. My friend arrived at her destination safely and with patience intact. Hey, whatever works.

Train and plane trips are a lot easier, given the speed of travel, and the ability to move about. Entertaining children on those modes of transportation will be discussed in a later newsletter.

2) CAN I HAVE SOME MONEY?
Single parents are always on a budget so this is a good opportunity to teach your kids budgeting skills, as well as reduce the strain on your patience:

* For a small child, write down or discuss the amount you will spend each day on treats or purchases and make the child aware of when the limit has been reached or approached.

* For kids ages 8-10 on up to 15 years, discuss in advance how much will be allotted to them for snack treats and gifts for themselves or friends. Let's say it is $70 for a one week trip. Each day give them $10 to spend so they can buy their own treats or gifts. If they are still young and tend to lose money, you may choose to hold the money in a separate envelope for them. Teach them to watch out for pickpockets, especially in areas frequented by tourists. Having them handle their own money will foster a sense of independence and help them understand budgeting.

* For teen-agers age 16 and up, chances are they have a part-time job and can bring their own earned spending money for gifts and food treats. Discuss in advance what you expect them to contribute.

Although not used as much today, travelers checks are still an interesting option for kids. If a child's allotment is $100 or more, get a booklet of $20 travelers checks in their name from your local bank. You hold the checks and let them sign off on a $20 check as they make a purchase and then they keep the change in their pocket. It makes a small child feel very important plus there is a visual impact of seeing the travelers check booklet get thinner. It is not a bad idea for teen-agers either. Being in the travel business for thirty years, I hear countless stories of how teen-agers bring $200 or more with them on a trip, which they saved from their part-time jobs, carry it all in their pocket, and - you guessed it - get pickpocketed.

3) I'M TIRED/BORED/HUNGRY
To avoid these issues and keep your patience intact, you will need to do some trip planning and consultation with your kids. I recommend you read my first newsletter which discusses research and the planning of itineraries and activities. A well-planned itinerary should eliminate most of the "I'm tired/I'm bored" issues, especially if you have obtained previous "buy-in" from your kids regarding daily activities. (I'll talk more about this in future newsletters). Remember to reinforce your kids' good behavior by complimenting them when they have behaved well, be it during a car ride, museum visit, or a restaurant meal. Tell the big kids too!

When my daughter was five years old we drove twelve hours straight from Maryland to the Canadian Laurentians for a one week ski trip. At the time I was still married so there were two adults to share the driving and child care responsibilities. Nonetheless it was a challenge to keep a small child content and well behaved for such a very long car trip. Here's what I did:

a) First, get buy-in. In this case the reward for enduring a twelve hour car trip was a Canadian ski vacation.

b) Make it a challenge. "Boy, an all day trip in a car. Not many little kids can handle that. Do you think you can do it?"

c) Review the commitment. Talk about it on and off and especially the few days before the trip. Focus on the positive - the destination, but remind the child of the challenge of the long trip to get there.

d) Prepare the child. Discuss where you will be at lunch, at dinner, and what to expect time-wise. We told our daughter we would cross the Canadian border as it was getting dark, and would arrive our destination shortly before her bedtime. Once we got into Canada she was then free to ask, "When do we get there? - but not before.

e) Praise the child for his or her good behavior as the ride progresses.

I know this must sound like an agenda for a corporate meeting or a case of silly over-preparation, but I can tell you from experience, it worked! Not once did my daughter whine about being tired, hungry or bored. However, mindful of the daytime ban on asking, "When do we get there?" she chose instead the phrase -"When will it get dark?" - and asked that question numerous times between lunch and dinner.

Next month I'll talk about one of my favorite topics - CREATIVITY in planning trips. Our newsletter series will then focus on travel itineraries and activities for different age groups, from toddler to teen-ager.