Welcome to the fourth edition of SINGLE PARENT TRAVEL e-zines - a continuing series of monthly newsletters created for the community of single parents who like to travel with their kids. These newsletters are designed to make your trips more fun, expand your horizons, and add more value to your Single Parent vacation dollar. In this newsletter we will discuss one of the important travel skills - MAP READING - that your child needs to develop so that you, the single parent, need not bear the entire burden of travel responsibilities.

You often read how single parenthood is a disadvantage for the kids. When it comes to travel, I think there are many advantages for the single parent child. Often while traveling, the single parent needs to rely on the child to perform more duties and responsibilities than would be common for a child of a double parent family. This makes the child feel more mature and they are more likely to learn these travel or life skills at an earlier age. If this is such a good idea, why doesn't every parent do it, even double parent families? Because it takes training and patience and a willingness on the part of the parent to give up some control. Single parents are more likely to succeed at this task because they have to. They are forced to rely on their kids for help.

I recently read in a family travel guidebook about a double parent family who traveled throughout Europe in a rental car with a teen-aged daughter and a younger son. The daughter, now under the shadow of both parents on a 24/7 basis, felt she was "regressing" and became reclusive. In a single parent situation the teen-age daughter more than likely would be in the front seat, reading the road signs and playing the role of Chief Navigator. That's not to say she still wouldn't argue with her parent, but at least she would be developing map skills along the way and would feel she had an active part in making the trip successful.

The important thing to remember is that the child will not learn instantly. Be prepared to assist and allow the child to make mistakes as they learn their new skill. After one or two vacations, you will find the child will easily assume the responsibility and you can let go of that task. Sounds scary, but once you try it, it's a great feeling.

In an earlier newsletter I had mentioned that there are many responsibilities you can assign to kids of varying ages. Little ones can learn to be responsible for counting luggage every time you make a move. Mid size kids can learn to do important research projects for the trip. Teen-agers and pre-teens can learn to read a map.

If you, the parent, are not a skillful map reader than that is an excellent reason to develop a Junior Navigator who in a year or two, will become your Senior Navigator. Kids as young as nine or ten can learn to read city tourist maps. They usually have lots of pictures and tourist sites. Let them navigate the way around the city on foot. Let them make a mistake or two and head down the wrong street and then learn how to find and correct their mistake. With a little help and lots of praise from you, they will become accomplished tourist map readers by the age of eleven or twelve. That way you can window shop while they pore over the map. As the child gets older, they can graduate to road maps.

I grew up surrounded by National Geographic magazines and maps and to this day, still read maps for pleasure. When I turned over navigating tasks to my daughter it was more an issue of giving up control. At age twelve, I started her on city tourist maps on our first single parent family trip to Europe. This enabled me to keep a tighter watch on my little son, a rambunctious child who was quick to get into mischief.

My daughter soon graduated to road maps and detailed big city maps, useful skills as we traveled out West in our rental cars. For years I tortured that poor girl always questioning her judgement, about a certain route or a certain turn. As she would study the map and proclaim "Turn right here" I would invariably say "Are you sure?" Finally one day, having had enough, she said "Mom, if you don't trust my judgement, why do you have me read the maps?" She was right. With great effort, I stopped my compulsive behavior, except when we traveled out of the country. Whenever she would plot our driving course through Central America or Europe, I would say "¿Eres segura?" I figured foreign languages don't count.

One year, when my son was sixteen, and my daughter had just started a new job in Manhattan, my son said to me "Mom, let's take a trip out West, you and me, during spring break." I quickly consented, on one condition. Since I had to do all the driving, he had to promise me that he would be the navigator and learn to read maps well. It was time. He agreed. In return I promised to bite my tongue and not say "Are you sure?" every time he planned a driving route. (Once in awhile I did let slip a phrase such as "Have you checked all the alternatives?)

We decided to drive a ten day circle trip around New Mexico and Arizona, hiking and sightseeing those pockets of interesting places we had not seen on earlier trips. Midway through the trip, we spent two nights at Canyon de Chelley, in the remote northeast corner of Arizona, a great inexpensive place for Navajo jeep rides and outdoor family fun. On the morning of our departure, Greg announced he had found a time-saving, secondary, more direct route from Chelley to Flagstaff via Route 15. A bit apprehensive, I suggested he check with the local Navajos. He did and was assured it was a suitable road. Off we went.

After a series of unmarked turn-offs we progressed from secondary to "thirdendary" roads. I grew more and more apprehensive and suggested turning back to take the main highway. My son reminded me that I had promised to trust his judgement. We continued on. Late that afternoon, still on dirt roads, we had now entered private ranch territory. I was convinced that within minutes, some ranch owner would come roaring down the road on his horse, shotgun in hand, filling us and the rental car with buckshot for encroaching on his property. Back East people threaten you just for treading on their parking space.

Shortly before twilight, we reached the paved part of the road. From there on in, it was gloriously scenic and completely free of traffic. We felt like we were in one of those TV car commercials as we drove into the sunset. By the time we reached the Coconino Forest and the switchbacks of Oak Creek Canyon, it was pitch black dark. Not exactly the timing I had in mind, but we had had an adventure, and my son had kept his promise and became a skillful navigator and I had kept my promise and allowed him to learn.

Footnotes: Several weeks after that trip, we all helped my daughter move to another apartment near to Manhattan. My son Greg was called upon to navigate the city while his Dad drove the moving truck. Greg told me later that his map experiences in Arizona enabled him to navigate quickly and efficiently throughout the city.

To order free maps, check with the local regional or state tourist boards of your planned destinations(s). Worldwide, state and regional addresses can be found on the Web at: www.towd.com . Another possibility is to join AAA or your local motoring club. State and country maps are provided free to members.

Next month I will continue with the theme of helping your children develop important travel skills so you, the single parent, do not have to carry the entire load of responsibilities on your family vacation.
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POSTING MESSAGES
Feel free to send me your comments, queries or feedback to me directly at: globalbrenda@yahoo.com or to the list directly at: SingleParentTravel@yahoogroups.com. Please note that comments sent to the list must pertain to single parent travel.